Lint-Trap 3/27/01: Exit Whistling
I talked to the HR director yesterday, and he is going to try to broker me a resignation that will take effect this summer. I've been talking to people about some projects I can do that will take a few months. And I'm actually looking forward to leaving.
With any kind of luck and a recovering market, I can live on my savings and my stock from the company. I need to sit down with my accountant and make sure, but it seems that way. I'm excited about writing a book. I'd like to do some more trainings and workshops (a very expensive hobby, but with luck something that will pay off someday). I'd like to spend two or three days in succession in my house without having to drive down through the traffic. I'd like to get in my car and drive to the East Coast and back, taking a month or two and enjoying myself.
It feels funny to be giving up technical work--I'd guess that at some point, I will dip back into it, but other things are far more interesting to me now.
Had dinner with Sam yesterday and caught up with her after almost a month. She is considering moving to Hawaii--her kids are grown, and she really has little to keep her here any more. In fact, one of her sons is living on Oahu. She would need to make a living, so she plans to do some research and see what she might do to be able to prosper there. But I'll miss her if she goes. One of my possible retirement dreams was doing a business with her-- might be a challenge if she is in Hawaii.
Spent Saturday with Diana, who is recovering nicely. Her laughs are back in nearly full force, and she contemplates going back to work next week. She has made some significant changes in attitude, and is planning many more. This was a difficult experience for me, but even more so for her and her kids.
On Sun., I attended my monthly Tarot class. I am amazed every month how interesting some topics were that I wouldn't have been caught dead discussing in any other context. Sunday's topic was card 6, The Lover, and much of the discussion centered on chastity. Not to be confused with celabacy.
One very challenging discussion (and I'm really paraphrasing greatly--the comment was almost incomprehensible to me when I first read it): when it comes to recognizing your true love, you cannot learn anything by experimenting in order to address your doubts. Another way of putting it is that the ego may object to the person, and want them to pass certain tests. But these tests will never affect the soul, which is where true love comes from and resides.
For a mental person like me, the idea that maybe I shouldn't think about things so much, that I should loosen my thinking cap and toss it away when love is in the air, is a refreshing but rather scary (not to say awkward) idea. Not unlike leaving my job, I suppose. I have periods of anxiety, but I know it's the right thing to do. Sounds a lot like soul work to me...
Thank you for reading.