The End is Near
3/24/01
Well, I met with my boss yesterday, and it looks like I'll not be working for the company all that much longer. Nothing explicit, mind you, but the signs were clear to see. He's a big-company manager, adroit at playing politics, hiding money in the budget, setting people off against each other.
I dislike that kind of style intensely. A lot of the reason I like working in a company (as opposed to contracting, which I did for a while) is being part of a team. And now I'm not.
So the bottom line is, he's not willing to give me a job I really want to do. He's given me some jobs I don't want to do, and then picked at me because I didn't do them the way he wanted me to. It's sad.
I've considered going back into technical work, which I still enjoy, but not with the passion that I used to. Depending on the stock market, I may be able to retire this summer anyway. I think I can support myself even in the contracting job market.
And I have several areas of my life where I am respected, and do feel part of a team. The Huna studies, some volunteer work I do, and in my fledgling new field as a management trainer.
So how do I feel about this? On the whole, surprisingly good. My boss isn't a bad guy, as big-company managers go. He and I had a frank talk. Nothing is likely to happen for the next month or two. I have some sadness that a good run is coming to an end. And some frustration that I've been pushed to the periphery. But I also honestly acknowledge my ambivalence about continuing to manage in the company culture that is evolving.
And I have a lot of excitement about moving forward. There is a book I want to write. I will enjoy getting my training business started. And many other areas of my life are doing well. I will particluarly enjoy being able to spend days working from home without having to brave the commute.
For every thing there is a season. It's spring, and new growth is happening. Let it be.
Thank you for reading.
Copyright © 2001 Pete Stevens. All rights reserved.
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