A long hiatus. Eson, keeping us guessing until the last, actually graduated from high school. He looked about 5 years older the next day. For a kid whose mom was told he would never learn to read, he has done well. Community college lies ahead. He teeters on the edge of realizing that his life is about him, and not about us. Hopefully, a month in CA with his dad will make him appreciate his mom a bit more... And vice versa.
A cold wet spring has turned into a nice, dry, not-too-hot summer. Flowers, deep green, animals in evidence, everywhere from the chipmunks that live in our stone wall to the yearling fawns I saw on the way to work to to frogs and turtles and clouds of insects. It is a miracle.
Much of my 'literary' intention has been directed at a summer service I'll lead in a few weeks talking about Jung's idea of the shadow. That's involved a lot of reading and introspection. The major themes are the Shadow, turning the other cheek, compassion, and forgiveness. I amaze myself sometimes that I'm writing about such issues, with such pleasure--I would have rather died 10 years ago than talk about my feelings, especially the vulnerable ones or the ones that don't put me in a good light.
As part of the fruits of the shadow work, my weight struggles (a lifelong and not very interesting topic) are looking up now after quite a bad spell. This is worth an entry or two by itself, but I'll wait until I'm feeling a bit more confident that I've really turned the corner this time.
Diana went through radiation well, and is back on her final (God willing) courses of chemo. The cumulative effect is beginning to show--she had a bit of nausea after the last treatment. She looks to be done in mid September. In between the blood counts and the feeling rotten, her spirit keeps poking through. We have had a lot of laughs in the last two months. And I love her more than ever.
Plans to add on to the house, quite moribund for the last few months, have perked up. The contractor we had been dealing with, and really liked, hurt his knee, and needed surgery. But he's back in circulation now, and hopefully we can get started soon. That will be its own stress, of course, but we're up for it. Anything is better than walking down those rickety steps after a snowfall... How could anybody build a house in New England where you had to climb a set of outside steps to get from the garage into the house?
Most recently, a wonderful vacation in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. Grand old hotel, wonderful meals, antiquiing. And my birthday (a big one minus one). Some days of feeling old, prior to the dietary breakthroughs mentioned above.
As has been obvious from my hiatus, I'm feeling some ambivalence about the journal. I would love to be a "write every day" kind of journaler. But many of the journals I've read daily have gone to quite sporadic updating now. I wonder if journals are something most people do for a year or two and then move on to a different phase of their life, where the action is internal and not easily transmitted to the page. But Jill, my muse, is back journaling again, and I'm inspired to keep going. Hope to see you soon.
Thank you for reading.
Copyright © 2001-2003 Pete Stevens. All rights reserved.
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